Finding the Mother Funny in the daily with Nickmom
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Things you never thought you find yourself doing or saying sometimes becomes a very normal part of your daily routine. Things like … washing your poop covered hands after wiping your wriggly child’s bum, wiping the poop off the wall after changing the diaper of said wriggly child, wiping the poop off the dog… yes the innocent bystander dog… after said diaper change of said baby. this happens often.
Or how about when you have dressed up and brushed your hair and even put on some uncomfortable shoes so you can look snazzy for a fun evening dinner with friends and there while chatting with friends over cocktails while holding your babe… you smell something rancid and feel something… smushy… only to find out that a massive. epic. poop explosion just happened while no one was looking and has now stained and stunk up your entire get up.
Why did you even try?
The things that come out of my mouth these days are things that never in a million years I thought I would ever say…
but now that I’m a parent… it’s totally normal!
Also… apparently my whole life revolves around poop.
1. Do you go big poop or small poop?
2.Was it a billy goat poop or big chunk?
3. Please keep your clothes on in the car because people who drive SUV’s can see everything back there.
4. Don’t lick the floor, don’t lick the floor… DONT LICK THE FLOOR!!
5. Can I just have one moment of peace… in the bathroom… so I can wipe!
6. Let’s not lock the baby in the closet.
7. wipe. flush. wash your hands. x 100 ( even add a chant and dance to it!)
8. Don’t pick your nose and bum with the same finger.
9. ( we pull over on the side of the road to pee)
Me: This is camping.
Lily: but I’m going potty on the side of the road.
Me: yea… it’s called camping. Make sure you tell Grammy that.
10. If you suck a stranger’s blood you will definitely get germs for the rest of your life.
11.—> you can’t do stranger danger to mommy just because you don’t want to go to bed!