Reflections at 6 Weeks
Thoms is 6 weeks young today!
6 weeks you guys. I just can’t believe that 6 weeks ago all this amazingness went down.
Over these past few weeks, Lily has been retelling the delivery and her experience in the hospital. She apparently had a blast… thanks to my bro Joe, Sis Dita and Sis-in-law Aunt Becky.
While nervous that her mom was attached to tubes and a little out of it and sleeping a lot… my siblings managed to get her mind off of her worries and the end result has been a very adventurous few days at the Northern Westchester Hospital… and for this I am very grateful.
Every now and then she tells me things like, “you know you had a pee bag attached to you right”. Why yes.. yes I did. Glamorous aint it. She says this with a smiley smirk… not really grossed out at all… but totally excited that she experienced such bizarre new and tremendous things at the hospital. I tell her… pee bags are part of life Lily… not gross at all.
She likes to tell and retell and ask a lot of questions about the whole experience. I know she was really stressed when she first saw me after the delivery… exhausted, sweaty, lethargic and attached to a ton of tubes. So talking about this is her way of processing all this info.
My mom didn’t really talk to me much about pregnancy or birthing or any of those things… different culture, different generation I guess. I find it so healthy to talk to Lily about all this…life! She is going to have such a great … adventurous understanding of the whole birthing process.
These past 6 weeks.. which have flown by… have been nothing short of amazing.
I have enjoyed the sleepless nights, the poo poo explosions, the on demand feedings, the juggling act and the hectic nature of it all. I really have found a new self in all this. Mainly this is contributed to my commitment to shutting off my “other” lives.
When we had Lily… 4 years ago… my dance company was in full swing. We had just booked a tour, we had a whole season of shows and guest residencies planned and I was in the middle of planning a HUGE funding event. There was a lot going on and I just could not handle it. It was a rough time, it was an amazing time… but I did not fully enjoy being a parent. My mind was in different places always.
This time around… I committed to SHUTTING THINGS OFF. I had to. I am on a work hiatus for a few months.. and I can’t tell you how healthy this is.
Now I am fully aware of how fortunate I am to be able to take a work hiatus and not ONE moment goes by where I do not thank God for all my blessings.
Matt has been out-of-town and my sister came to stay with me and help out these past couple days. She left yesterday and I had to do the night routine and morning routine today solo… after getting Lily to bed without any disagreements or threats ( you know… go to bed or else…) I called to Matt to say, we are fortunate! This morning however… meltdown before heading off to school. Eh. you win some… you lose some.
I don’t know how my mom – a single mom- did it. She had 3 of us to wrangle.
Being able to stay home with my baby is honestly such a luxury. As isolating as it is… it is also a luxury that most people in the world just cannot afford and for this I am very thankful.
Thoms is growing. His face is filling out. He recognizes my voice and it soothes him when he cries which is really sweet.
Jonah loooves the baby and has taken on the role of the guardian of both Lily and Thoms. He often times sleeps in the hallway in between their rooms… other times you can find him on our bed! Taking up the whole space and stinking up the room 😉
Lily has settled into her role as proud big sister. She helps with everything… holding the baby, soothing him when he cries by singing to him, just talking to him in a sweet baby talk way.
I have to remember that Lily is STILL a baby herself. As often as I see her trying to grow up… her clothes have changed, her lingo is changing, she pushes buttons that i did not know i had, her independence is showing, she’s getting taller, braver, snarkier… I STILL catch her singing her sweet songs when she’s playing with her dollies. And those moment when she asks me to snuggle are precious and really melt this cold heart of mine.
Hold these littles tight you guys… because time is tick tocking away and before we know it… this precious time will be gone.
No complaints. I’m thankful for the sleepless nights, the meltdown mornings, the poopy diapers, the bedtime routines, the daily repetition, the lack of social life, the blessings of my family.
So here we are… 6 weeks! Amazing!