Being Pregnant – 33 weeks

I’m 33 weeks today. The Third Trimester is here folks and in full force. Apparently I can give birth now, although my Dr. assured me that in the rare case this begins to happens he will give me drugs to stop it because it’s not safe and all that. (say wha!)

So here’s what to expect when you are in the 33-week club!

  1. You are an emotional wreck – Get ready to have mini emotional outbreaks several times a day.  For no reason, I feel like crying. I expect my family to pay MUCH more attention to me than they already do but have to settle with the fact that everyone has a life and calling me to see how I’m feeling or doing is not on their #1 priority list.  I really wish my mom would call me everyday to check in..but she doesn’t and when she does she doesn’t really ask how I’m doing because if she did, I would say… nobody likes me everybody hates me i just want to eat worms. and I would add… I am so tired all the time, I am anxious about having a baby and not knowing what to expect, all these weird things are going on with my body and I don’t know what to do  and I need a massage or a warm bath but I can’t clean the bathtub because the belly gets in the way and we still haven’t unpacked from when we moved 3 months ago and I have no idea what a ‘Hospital Bag” is and what to pack and I just need someone to be nice to me and make a big deal about me being preggers. But she doesn’t ask so I don’t tell her. The best part though… I have Matt who does all this but he also gets my many random mood swings. *sigh*
  2. Sense of smell is kickin – I can’t stand the SUBWAY in NYC. The smells are so gross and trigger such a strong gag reflex that I am always afraid I actually will throw up on the subway. My newly formed keen sense of spidey smell is not an asset because I can smell you and your funk a mile away, so dont try to hide it,  and even if it’s me who smell’s I will blame it on you because I’m pregnant and can do that. Poor Jonah he is stinky to begin with so imagine what he smells like to me these days. That four-legged beast is a smelly pot!
  3. No Sleep till Brooklyn: Believe it. I can’t sleep at night no matter how tired I am. Why? Because I have a million things going through my mind and this baby is moving and shaking and baking all night long and that keeps me up. My legs hurt really bad all night long and just when I think I am about to fall asleep I have to go potty! I am usually up at 3am and then can’t fall back asleep until 6am so most my days I’m walking through a groggy fog. Thus the constant irritable mood.
  4. You’re belly has a sign that says: touch me – NO IT DOES NOT but random strangers will walk up and try to touch and rub your belly. How is this OK?  You can say NO and I do say NO. And then kick em in the shins and run!
  5. Bathroom breaks: You’re gonna go pee pee all day about 20 times a day. no joke! It’s crazy town.
  6. Your body hurts in all strange places : and no one can understand this discomfort. I am so uncomfortable all the time. I can’t sit up on any dining chair so when I go to events or have to be in public and eat I have to do a little swagga-lean in my chair to make room for my belly. Your legs will have these weird phantom pains all night long, your back will hurt, your feet swell up, and your lower back is going to play all kind of cruel tricks on you. My sciatic nerve KILLS when I stand up. Might be an old dance injury but I am pretty certain it’s because my core is not as strong as it used to be and I have this massive weight that I’m carrying in the front of my body. I use tiger balm to help the muscles.
  7. Exhaustion: No one can prepare you for the utter and sudden exhaustion that comes over you. It’s not consistent and I’m not tired all the time but when the exhaustion bug bites me… forget it… I have to shut it down.
  8. Cravings: Those cravings are no joke and they only come late at night…like after 10PM. For example right now I’m craving some Taco Bell nachos REALLLLL bad! Last week I was craving cake all week-long. Every night… CAKE with  butter-cream icing. or Vitamin Water – I drank sooo much of that last week I should have bought stock in the company.

So there ya have it… things that you won’t learn from the preggy books. Welcome to the 33 week club. Next week 34!