Learning the Baby Gear Lingo

It’s been pretty over whelming … to say the LEAST… in these parts lately.

Matt and I are in over our heads with all this baby gear madness.

For example what is a BOPPY pillow? and Bunting gear? Is this some sort of infant sport I don’t know about and I need to protect the babe with bunting gear?

And don’t get me started on the strollers. I can’t figure out what to do here.

I need something light weight, and that folds easily, I don’t want a million compartments in the stroller, just one nice big compartment that can house all my needs and I need some rims on it… preferrably spinners and some shock absorbers for the mean NYC streets and hydraulics to make it bounce and maybe some of those neon lights that go under the stroller, while we’re at it how about a climate controlled stroller and a “push a button and the stroller automatically folds” stroller and maybe a mood ring stroller – like the whole thing changes color depending on my mood or the mood of the baby.

See what I mean. It’s madness… and don’t laugh…because those of you who have been researching strollers know that you can totally get a climate controlled stroller!

But seriously… what’s a new parent to do with so many options and then the prices are all over the place.

Matt and I are looking at car seats for example, and they can range from $79 – $500 . How is this possible? It’s a car seat right? It has to meet some national regulations right? So how unsafe can it be? I don’t need a cashmere covered car seat… I mean there are cashmere car seat covers that are sold separately to keep baby extra comfy… that’s a whole different set of gear needs.

Then we have the bouncers and the rockers… aren’t they the same? and the changing tables and having more than one station in your home and a diaper genie… is this like a magical blue smoke bald creature who comes out and magically changes your baby’s dirty smelly diaper? Cuz I will PAAAAYYY for that.

Oh and since I’m having a boy… the pee -pee tee-pee. Yep.. a tee-pee for the pee pee. Who knew?

How in the world did my mom raise me in India! Cuz I will tell you one thing there were no climate controlled, mood detecting, hydraulic bounce strollers back in the day.