Pregnancy Week 20 – The Dirty Truth

So I am officially rockin-da-bump y’all!

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Yes, I now look like a pregnant lady as opposed to someone who just ate the entire all-you-can-eat buffet at an all-you-can-eat buffet.

These past weeks : {they don’t tell you about this stuff in fluffy pregnancy blockbusters.}

  • I have had a nasty, mucus filled cough, that is quite embarrassing at times. Think old hag hacking up a lung in some dark seedy alley. It’s especially embarrassing when I’m on the train – commuting to NYC – or at dinner or anywhere public. My Dr. says, it’s a pregnancy cough and something about increase of blood or baby producing carbon dioxide or something. It’s NORMAL!
  • My legs ache at night when I’m bed. Like this strange phantom pain all over my legs. And I just have to put pressure on them to make it stop. Apparently I can get panty hose of some special pregnancy kind that helps with this. Panty hose while I sleep? I don’t ever wear panty hose ever and now I have to wear this when I sleep. Not going to happen. I spoke to my Dr. and he said ..it’s NORMAL!
  • Last night I woke up several times of the night with major leg pains. Like charlie horses all night long. It was so incredibly painful! What did the Dr. say? ..it’s NORMAL!
  • I have to eat REALLY small meals several times a day. My belly feels really full and the thought of eating just makes me wonder – where is this food going to go- my belly is maxed out. Sometimes even when I breathe, It feels as if I have no room for the air… and I’m only 20 weeks y’all! ...it’s NORMAL!
  • BUUUT then I become really irritated and totally crazy if I’m hungry which is ALL the time- and as Matt says – YOU HAVE TO FEED THE DRAGON!
  • I’ve developed super human smelly power. I can smell stuff a mile away and often times have to walk out of grocery stores or smaller retails stores because someone’s funk will trigger a gag reflex. The NYC subways have been a blast I tell ya…So that’s been fun!
  • My stomach hurts at random times of the day. Like these weird pains in my side and it’s really uncomfortable. Spoke to my Dr. it’s NORMAL!
  • I think my ribs are expanding. My back and ribs hurt randomly sometimes.
  • There is hair growing all over my face and my facial person said, “do you want me to just wax your face? your cheeks and chin?” SAY WHA! How rude!
  • My head hurts because no matter how much water I’m drinking it’s not enough and it was 103 in the heat index the other day and my head was pounding from not enough water. But I drank a TON!
  • Pregnancy Brain – I can’t focus. No matter how hard I try, I just can’t focus at times. When my brain shuts down…it SHUTS DOWN. Nothing can bring it back. A quick nap – who has time- or a feeding of the dragon are the only 2 things that might just might get me back on track. So I have to work at lightning fast speed to accomplish everything while I can.
  • Lily kisses my belly often and that makes me happy!
  • We saw the spine and facial structure of the baby last week during an ultrasound. It was really amazing. Like REALLY AMAZING!
  • I can’t find any cool pregnancy clothes. All the stuff is flowers and polka dots and i don’t wear that stuff anyway and sure as heck don’t want to start looking all cutesy now. So what to do?
  • I pee when I cough or sneeze. Gross I know… watch out. They don’t tell you about this part… but all you people getting ready to get preggers… I’m teaching you!
  • My Dr. told me to gain some weight. So that was nice to hear. It fed my newly developed vanity. {more on that in a later post}
  • The baby moves in my belly all the time and it feels like I’m on a roller coaster going down really fast for about 2 seconds. When this happens back to back it makes me seriously nauseous. But it’s so amazing that I love when it happens.

So that’s all to report.

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